Office Eating Etiquette

We live in an age, a time, an era when we do not have the luxury of long coffee breaks at quirky and interesting coffee shops. We are unable to sit with beautifully polished china and cutlery and enjoy a lasting conversation over a finely prepared and delicate meal. No, we are on the move, everything is instant and we are not in a time when you can easily take the time to enjoy. Often, we will find ourselves eating at our desk--and here lies the problem. Your cubicle is your own personal space, your refuge for 8 hours a day, you make it your own to make it tolerable- there is no doubt about this. Telling the smell of your food to not leave your cubicle is like the days gone by of smoking and non smoking sections--the smoke goes where it pleases including the non smoking areas. When eating at your desk think of a scent that perhaps you hate tuna, onion, peppers, aubergine cooking, whatever it be and imagine that someone in your office is devouring right at that moment a dish that uses those ingredients, you wouldn't be ecstatic at that scent wafting through your office. invading your own private cubicle and space.

In addition to the scent there is the mess, if your office is strewn with empty cans, have eaten sandwiches, used napkins, and cutlery marred and grimed with meals gone by--it doesn't encourage those around you to come and visit your cubicle--and will even be a deterrent for some projects as executives will think (even if it be superficially) "if they can't keep their desk clean they can't manage a project". Throw away the remnants of your repas a la bureau in the appropriate trash receptacle (not one where the scent is going to remain for days on end, like an unwanted guest).

Lastly, when eating try to not slurp, crunch, much, grind, slosh, drool, scarf, scoff, inhale, dribble , and anything else while eating at your desk.

After all as William Henry Davies says in his poem "Leisure" :
"No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass."

We may not have all the leisure in the world, but we need not graze like sheep or cows at our desk to make up for our lack of time.

xoxo Miss Manners

Sorry Your Sandwich Is Ruined

It's lunch time, a time to enjoy whatever you must shove down your gullet and make the call to get your manicure and pedicure and brazilian and whatever else you need to do in the meager 30 minutes your employment allows.

While your doing this juggling act, something that you don't want to happen is to get someone's inner monologue directed towards their sandwich and their hatred of how it has been made.

"These motherfuckers put peppers on my sandwich, I hate peppers, why the fuck would they put peppers on my sandwich" followed shortly by "I think I'm allergic to peppers, do you like steak sandwich, you can have this half".

As delighted as I would be to get half of a sandwich made by a motherfucker, I believe this time I will quietly decline and hope to find a new and less intrusive lunching area tomorrow.

Blurring the lines

When you are someone's assistant it is easy to blur the line between friendship and work, even more so when you have been friendly.

Today I was witness to a boss and his assistant, the boss learned that a close friend was in the hospital. After demanding his assistant call Verizon to have them resend all phone numbers he's ever called to his cell phone. Then the assistant was asked to call every hospital in a vicinity to find him. 10 phone calls later they were at the first hospital to obtain the information.

In a time of need have your assistant help, not watch your melt down. Please, it's just plain awful.

You know more about me than I did

I am always amused by how much other people know of my life, and how much they can correct me on. For example in a recent tutoring session:

Me: Let's practice these verbs by having you explain to me your routine and then your *sister*

Student: I have no idea what she did

Me: You live with her.

Student: Tell me what LR did this morning then using the verbs.

Me: I'm not sure.

Student: YOU LIVE WITH HIM

Me: I don't actually

Student: ummm I'm pretty sure you do.

Firstly, why are you not using the verbs that I have laid out for you. Secondly, when did it become acceptable to correct people on what's going on in their life. Please, do us all a favor and keep your unfounded opinions to yourself.

Miss Manners xoxo

The Recession never hit you

Mr. Man: I'm planning on moving to Hawai'i, my daughter wants to move.

Miss Manners: Are you planning on moving to Hawai'i so that way you can get the residential tuition when your daughter goes to college?

Mr.Man: No, no no, my dog only has a couple of years left and I want to be able to enjoy the beach with him.

So glad to see that you are recession proof and good reasons to move to Hawai'i.

xoxox Miss Manners

Glad to see the recession never hit you

I have decided to document things I hear that are ridiculous, or just plain rude.

Enjoy and lets remember to keep our manners up, it costs nothing to be kind.

Miss Manners xoxox